Sailing a Ship of Influence

Influence can come from the most unknowing of places, whether its noticed or passed, accepted, given without consent or even ignorantly claimed to be one's own.

I've come to the conclusion (and I don't mean to finish before I start) that without the influence of others, one cannot reach their full potential.  Only through the influence of others can one only truly become "themselves". 

 We believe ourselves to be free, free to choose, free to act, but when do we ever go about our daily lives without questioning?  Though it is through the illusion of choice that society claims us all to be unique and different, harbors of varying ideas, boats of opportunity with ships full to the brim with crew, deckmates and a captain;  thoughts, morals and beliefs.

But are you really your own captain? Or is your ship sailed by the influence of others, pushing you to port, to starboard, back to land and out to open sea all simultaneously?  How often is the true value of choice given to one without the judgment, disdain and in some cases silent ridicule of others?  Forcing unto the thinker, a slew of contradiction to what was originally decided.

It is believed that those who surround us only want to help us out, and in some cases this may, in fact, be very true.  However there are cases when those who surround us do nothing more than create a barrier, blocking all creativity and individuality.

It is within society, groups of peers and central ideas that one is forced to act a certain way, ruled by fear of exile, labelling and the dreaded judgement.  No matter age, gender or race,

Conformity is an influence that is largely overlooked.  Surrounded by those who supposedly support, one would feel free and encouraged to act the way they want and to speak their minds.  But, again, in most cases this is not always the truth.  People take blows from groups of people who are meant to only reassure them, accepting these lashes without second thought... because they're my friends and they must know best!

It is in human nature to release one's frustrations and insecurities, but it is within human choice to not do that unto a friend.  Tearing others down is only a result of a miserable feeling from within, and it is a friend's duty to listen to these, not to fall victim to moments of weakness.  Misery and excuses go hand in hand, taking out the insecurities, fears and pain that are felt on a friend is only an immature, selfish way in which humans react when threatened.  We feel the need to bring down people to the levels which we are currently at, whether that be on a good or bad day.  But what happens when a friend's bad days span not just a simple 24-hours but the entire existence of your relationship?  Do you eventually grow to accept how they treat you, relishing the fun moments spent together and turning a blind eye to the bad times? 

My theory is that a true friend will be honest with you,  providing input and support in both the bad times and the good, no matter the circumstances.  Because a friend is someone who won't have to feel superior to their counterpart, plagued with the feeling that they have something to prove just because of the way they feel, look or have been judged on a given day. 

Bringing back my introduction/conclusion in this rambling blog post I feel as though through separating one's self from the accepted negativity of others, one can only then reflect on who they are and want to be; creating not an illusion of what a friend "should" be or of how great and unique an  individual they are, but of a self-knowing captain, who navigates their own ship no matter how stormy the waters may be, getting from point A to B without mutiny, retreat or capsizing.

.... or scurvy for that matter.